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Four-Yard Scarf

Posted in Projects by unboundpage on November 6, 2012

As happens far too frequently, this quest started with a perfectly innocent question from my friend Mike:

Why, Mike?  What do you need?

“Knit a scarf that is at least 12 feet long and is being worn by 3 people at one time.”

For a scavenger hunt.  A really big, ridiculous, awesome scavenger hunt.

12 feet with no gauge or width requirements?  Easy peasy.

Two skeins of Red Heart (Cherry Red and Royal blue), one skein of Impeccable “Folklore” variegated, size 13 needles, a few feet of Premier Starbella “Fly a Kite” just for added whimsy, and a few hours later…

Bam

12+ feet of scarf

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Mom why?

Posted in Don't Quit Your Day Job by unboundpage on August 27, 2011

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

I swear I’m not laughing at you.

Posted in Don't Quit Your Day Job by unboundpage on January 29, 2011

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything.

Posted in Projects by unboundpage on January 11, 2011

I would say that I’ve created a monster, but I don’t think I can rightfully claim credit for the Knitting Monster that has grown up in the place where Dear Roommie used to reside.  For starters, she’s knitting and showing no signs of stopping to pick up a crochet hook for anything more sophisticated than tassels.

Then again, I started out knitting and terrified of crochet, too…

Oh dear, what I have done?

Anyway!  So I made the squid for this Secret Santa thing for her.  She has not yet made it to a post office to ship said squid to said Secret Santa person, so she decided that as penance for her postal tardiness, she should make a little something extra to go along with the late gift.  Naturally, she decided that the time had come in her knitting adventures to make… a Jayne hat.

For those of you uninitiated in the Ways of the Brown Coats, Jayne is a particularly ridiculous fictional mercenary type in a 2002 science fiction series called Firefly, created by Joss “I Like It When Fox Eats My Babies” “The Man Who Made Buffy” Whedon.  In one of the last episodes, he receives a care package from home that includes a hand-knit hat from his mother.  As you can see, the hat is so ugly it’s cute, and since the episode’s first airing, the head- and heart-warming monstrosity has inspired many a knitting nerd to create their own, because it is, indeed, the sweetest hat ever.

Now that I have the explanation out of the way, words cannot express the pride I feel today as I bring you the world debut of Knitting Monster’s very first Jayne Hat.

I mean, the craftsmanship alone puts the original to shame (which really is the point, I think), but then it’s hilariously over-sized, and she had a complete runaway with herself making the pom pom on top.

Secret Santa Dude, I hope you appreciate the love and nerdity that went into your scandalously late gifts.

Those who do not learn from history…

Posted in Don't Quit Your Day Job by unboundpage on January 1, 2011

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

[insert maniacal laughter here]

Posted in Projects by unboundpage on November 9, 2010

I win!

With Halloween come and gone and no sign of a sewn wizard costume or jacket, I took my sweet time finding a second set of buttons and getting them sewn onto the doggy sweater.

This week has been a bit of a battle with Jacob, because I brought in my more delicate (read: dead and dying) plants from the porch, and they are currently sitting on the table at the end of the couch, well within reach of a certain water-craving nose.  I feel like I’ve done nothing but yell, “Jake!  No!  Down!” at him for the last several days.

The kalanchoe that was nearly dead a few months ago is still hanging on, but only just barely, and there is really only one shriveled little twig that still has green leaves on it.  More precisely, there was only one…

Last night I left Jacob unsupervised just long enough that I came back in to the living room to find him up on the table, with that little sprig of green leaves next to him, very much detached from its shriveled twig.  After resisting the urge to lock him on the porch overnight, and planting the leaves in the soil (that dog is exceedingly lucky kalanchoes grow from cuttings), I finally got to work on those last two sweater buttons.

Tonight, I had my revenge:

The three buttons at the neck in combination with the cinch on the back appear to have created a proper straight jacket for our crazy little Jake.

Jake-dini

Posted in Don't Quit Your Day Job by unboundpage on October 30, 2010

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

Jackets for Jakes, Day 6

Posted in Day-to-Day, Projects by unboundpage on October 22, 2010

I put absolutely no stock in the idea that the sole purpose of the daily lunch break is eating lunch. As it fits into my (not entirely healthy) worldview, it is an hour of found time most days, and today, I found two legs and the back ribbing:

Around what should have been dinner time, I finished the hood, and Roommie and I commenced with the torture sessions fitting process.



It looked to be a good fit, but Jake disapproved and wiggled free.

I attached the buttons at the neck, hoping that would reduce the wiggle room.

Foiled again!

We decided it was too loose around the middle, so I added an adjustable gather in the middle of the back.

Somehow he still pulled a leg free, then burrowed under Roommie’s comforter to get it off the rest of the way.

I moved the gather further up the back, which held long enough for him to run out into the living room…

…where he pulled himself free yet again.

For the time being, we all give up.

Anyway, here are the less wiggly shots of the (nearly) final product:

I’ll be needing still another Joann’s run to get another set of buttons.  There will ultimately be three at the neck.  We are now effectively taking the straight jacket approach.  I’ll also see if a run through the laundry this weekend can shrink it at all.

And… umm…  Roommie doesn’t seem to be the least bit interested in this competition business.  She spent this evening’s shopping expedition getting more supplies for the wizard costume.

But the tassel on the hood is entirely her doing.

Jackets for Jakes, Day 5

Posted in Day-to-Day, Projects by unboundpage on October 21, 2010

I finished Saturday’s comic.  I will finish the jacket tomorrow if it kills me.

Roommie can’t procrastinate forever.

Jackets for Jakes, Day 4

Posted in Day-to-Day, Projects by unboundpage on October 20, 2010

Day 4

I spent three hours untangling Monday’s mess and crocheting maybe four more rows. The hood was still dumb-looking, so I pulled it all out this time, and took the extra half hour to keep the yarn un-tangled.

Tomorrow I’ll just knock out the non-hood portions and then decide where I want to go from there.  I really need to be done by Friday, so I don’t have to take this whole mess to Austin with me.

And also so I will win.

Roommie was not feeling well and went to sleep early.

I think she’s letting me win.