Four-Yard Scarf

As happens far too frequently, this quest started with a perfectly innocent question from my friend Mike:

Why, Mike?  What do you need?

“Knit a scarf that is at least 12 feet long and is being worn by 3 people at one time.”

For a scavenger hunt.  A really big, ridiculous, awesome scavenger hunt.

12 feet with no gauge or width requirements?  Easy peasy.

Two skeins of Red Heart (Cherry Red and Royal blue), one skein of Impeccable “Folklore” variegated, size 13 needles, a few feet of Premier Starbella “Fly a Kite” just for added whimsy, and a few hours later…

Bam

12+ feet of scarf

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A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything.

I would say that I’ve created a monster, but I don’t think I can rightfully claim credit for the Knitting Monster that has grown up in the place where Dear Roommie used to reside.  For starters, she’s knitting and showing no signs of stopping to pick up a crochet hook for anything more sophisticated than tassels.

Then again, I started out knitting and terrified of crochet, too…

Oh dear, what I have done?

Anyway!  So I made the squid for this Secret Santa thing for her.  She has not yet made it to a post office to ship said squid to said Secret Santa person, so she decided that as penance for her postal tardiness, she should make a little something extra to go along with the late gift.  Naturally, she decided that the time had come in her knitting adventures to make… a Jayne hat.

For those of you uninitiated in the Ways of the Brown Coats, Jayne is a particularly ridiculous fictional mercenary type in a 2002 science fiction series called Firefly, created by Joss “I Like It When Fox Eats My Babies” “The Man Who Made Buffy” Whedon.  In one of the last episodes, he receives a care package from home that includes a hand-knit hat from his mother.  As you can see, the hat is so ugly it’s cute, and since the episode’s first airing, the head- and heart-warming monstrosity has inspired many a knitting nerd to create their own, because it is, indeed, the sweetest hat ever.

Now that I have the explanation out of the way, words cannot express the pride I feel today as I bring you the world debut of Knitting Monster’s very first Jayne Hat.

I mean, the craftsmanship alone puts the original to shame (which really is the point, I think), but then it’s hilariously over-sized, and she had a complete runaway with herself making the pom pom on top.

Secret Santa Dude, I hope you appreciate the love and nerdity that went into your scandalously late gifts.

[insert maniacal laughter here]

I win!

With Halloween come and gone and no sign of a sewn wizard costume or jacket, I took my sweet time finding a second set of buttons and getting them sewn onto the doggy sweater.

This week has been a bit of a battle with Jacob, because I brought in my more delicate (read: dead and dying) plants from the porch, and they are currently sitting on the table at the end of the couch, well within reach of a certain water-craving nose.  I feel like I’ve done nothing but yell, “Jake!  No!  Down!” at him for the last several days.

The kalanchoe that was nearly dead a few months ago is still hanging on, but only just barely, and there is really only one shriveled little twig that still has green leaves on it.  More precisely, there was only one…

Last night I left Jacob unsupervised just long enough that I came back in to the living room to find him up on the table, with that little sprig of green leaves next to him, very much detached from its shriveled twig.  After resisting the urge to lock him on the porch overnight, and planting the leaves in the soil (that dog is exceedingly lucky kalanchoes grow from cuttings), I finally got to work on those last two sweater buttons.

Tonight, I had my revenge:

The three buttons at the neck in combination with the cinch on the back appear to have created a proper straight jacket for our crazy little Jake.