Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Don’t Quit Your Day Job


funny story!

So someone at work found a recipe for microwave peanut brittle, and because I love peanut brittle almost as much as chocolate, I very cheerfully look the copy she offered me.

Looking at the recipe today, I realized I had everything in house already, so I made a batch!

This is not the funny part.

As per usual, I managed to mess up and not hold the baking soda until the end like I was supposed to.

Still not the funny part.

Even though it looked ok, I had enough ingredients left to try again, so I did.

Still not really funny.

After the first four minutes in the microwave, I had a bowl of boiling sugar and peanuts, and assorted sticky cooking utensils.

Here comes the funny part.

I was talking to Dear Roommie while handling said bowl of boiling sugar and peanuts, and somehow wound up mishandling one of the sticky cooking utensils as it came out of the bowl, and…

Funny story!  Melted sugar is REALLY FREAKISHLY HOT!

Also, it is very hard to get off your skin because it solidifies very quickly – while still being freakishly hot.

Just to add insult to (all too literal) injury –

The batch that burned me was, in turn, burned.  Or at least overcooked.

Yeah, that really wasn’t funny at all, was it?



Jake has a cousin!

So this blog is quickly becoming one of my favorite things on the internet.  Dear Roommie just had to share this post with me a couple months ago.  It is a terrifyingly accurate account of how being a responsible adult quickly ceases to be fun at all, and we still find ourselves randomly quoting it when things get too serious in the apartment.

Tonight she could barely breathe, much less speak, she was laughing so hard at this post about moving with dogs.  The story is hilarious on its own merits – especially to anyone who has every lived with a dog – but the really great part is, “Simple Dog” has nearly identical coloring to Jake, and appears to be equally dumb.  As an added bonus, I later found this post – an introduction to “Simple Dog” that only solidifies my belief that this must be Jacob’s long-lost relative.

It is comforting to know that someone else out there in the universe is finding inspiration in a hopelessly hopeless canine.  I am especially grateful that she has decided to share these stories in such an unabashedly entertaining format.  It makes me feel slightly less bad about taking advantage of Jake’s… challenges? for my own entertainment.


…especially since he managed to get onto the table with my plants again today, despite the extensive toothpick minefield.

[insert maniacal laughter here]

I win!

With Halloween come and gone and no sign of a sewn wizard costume or jacket, I took my sweet time finding a second set of buttons and getting them sewn onto the doggy sweater.

This week has been a bit of a battle with Jacob, because I brought in my more delicate (read: dead and dying) plants from the porch, and they are currently sitting on the table at the end of the couch, well within reach of a certain water-craving nose.  I feel like I’ve done nothing but yell, “Jake!  No!  Down!” at him for the last several days.

The kalanchoe that was nearly dead a few months ago is still hanging on, but only just barely, and there is really only one shriveled little twig that still has green leaves on it.  More precisely, there was only one…

Last night I left Jacob unsupervised just long enough that I came back in to the living room to find him up on the table, with that little sprig of green leaves next to him, very much detached from its shriveled twig.  After resisting the urge to lock him on the porch overnight, and planting the leaves in the soil (that dog is exceedingly lucky kalanchoes grow from cuttings), I finally got to work on those last two sweater buttons.

Tonight, I had my revenge:

The three buttons at the neck in combination with the cinch on the back appear to have created a proper straight jacket for our crazy little Jake.